First off, before I start this strenuous post, let me say that I love the Beatles and everything about them and I was guilty of most of the things I’m going to discuss in my post. I’m mostly doing this for shits and giggles, and honestly don’t mean any harm to anyone in particular..well, not really.
1st Problem: Wives
God damn, we just love the wives don’t we? Pattie, Yoko, Cyn, Maureen, Olivia—WAIT!!! HOW COULD YOU FORGET LINDA?? LINDA WAS THE PERFECT WIFE EVER AND SHE DID SO MUCH FOR PAUL AND HOW COULD YOU FORGET HER IN THAT LIST???? GO ROT LINDA WAS P E R F E C T
I think the paragraph above speaks for itself. Everyone gets so damn butthurt when it comes to wives, sure, they’re plenty important, aren’t they? All of them had a huge impact on each Beatles—but why the hell are we flaming them/the people that don’t like your own favorite? Does it really matter THAT much? And oh god, don’t get me started on if you don’t like Yoko. Essentially, that’s a sin in the Beatles bible.
Oh, and you have to hate Heather or you do indeed lack a soul. And if you don’t recognize the significance of Linda—go rot! And if you actually do like Pattie, you’re an idiot!! How could you like that little blond bimbo who hurt George and left him for Clapton!?
2nd Problem: Jokes
Okay, you guys. The “LOL I’M GEORGE I LOVE EATING” joke is kinda overdone, wouldn’t you think? ..Oh, wait, aren’t all the beatles jokes nowadays overdone? Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I stumbled upon a funny Beatles meme…oh, right. I never did. Because they’re all the same.
Oh and by the way, saying disgusting things about wanting to fuck the Beatles? IT ISN’T FUNNY AND I DON’T KNOW HOW PEOPLE COULD FIND IT MILDLY HUMOROUS.
Please let it be known that I am indeed the creator of the Paul McCartney meme and did participate in this unfunny bullshittery.
3rd Problem: Slash
LET THE RECORD BE SHOWN THAT I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST SLASH!
But seriously, fights over pairings that MIGHT HAVE NOT EVEN EXISTED are the most ridiculous thing. On one side, we have people bawling over how disgusting slash is because apparently the Beatles are godly and shedding them in a homosexual light is BAD because homosexuality apparently isn’t RIGHT even though there was a pretty good chance that John himself was bisexual. And on the other side, we have people bitching to others about why THEIR pairing is the absolute greatest and everything else in inferior, and it’s even more funny when that pairing happens to be John/Paul and people drag Yoko in and talk about just HOW MUCH SHE RUINED THEIR RELATIONSHIP!
but I’ll talk more about Yoko later. I have a lot to say, evidently.
4th Problem: Cynthia and Yoko
This, in my opinion, is a really fuckin’ hilarious argument. Who was John happier with?? Cyn or Yoko???? Was he more himself with one or the other???
on one side, we have our rabid love love Yoko girls spitting and hissing about how idiotic those Cynthia girls are because they think that John was more himself when he was with Cynthia. In my opinion, I think that John was DEFINITELY more himself with Yoko than with Cyn, not to say that I have anything against the bird. But honestly? God what a dumb fucking argument. There is this unspoken competition Yoko fans and Cyn fans seem to have with eachother, and it’s god damn ridiculous. Just shut up. It doesn’t matter if you hate Yoko because John was still with her and it doesn’t matter if you hate Cyn because JOHN STILL LOVED HER.
5th Problem: Remember that Lady Gaga on John’s piano thing?
Oh right. That picture. That terrible TERRIBLE picture that created a widespread hysteria on the internet. Now, I hate to rehash old memories (just kidding. I don’t.) but honestly? Key point as to why the Beatles fandom just seems fucked to me, for the most part. Did anyone partake in that? I know I did. And perhaps I should better state this problem and just shorten it to “Lady Gaga and John Lennon”
Why the uproar? Why were you little John lovers so “OH GOD HOW COULD SHE TOUCH HIS WHITE PIANO?? SHE’S NOT WORTHY TO TOUCH OUR JOHN’S PIANO!!!!!!!!!!” when you don’t even fucking know the girl? How does that even make SENSE? Obviously if Sean and fucking Yoko felt that Gaga wasn’t fit to play on his fuckin’ piano, THEY WOULDN’T HAVE LET HER! Don’t you suppose that they’d know better than you? I mean, they actually knew him.
Not to mention that one quote Lady Gaga made about wanting to go back in time to seduce John Lennon, and y’all got all butthurt and territorial about it, talking about how Lady Gaga should respect him more when god DAMN you guys should hear what you say.
6th Problem: Territory Issues
“HOW IS THAT BITCH GOING TO TOUCH PAUL LIKE THAT??? HE’S MINE!!! FUCK THAT GIRL!!!!! WHY IS GEORGE WITH THAT SLUT???”
Now, even I’ve done this quite a few times. We see pictures of our favorite Beatle with their hands on some girl that definitely isn’t their wife, and suddenly, they’re bitches and sluts and whores when secretly, we just want to be them. Is there not a mature way to handle that? Fuck, I’d rather you guys just put your face on theirs and pin it to your wall. Anything’s better than hearing the usual “bitch get your hands off of him” deal
7th Problem: Yoko fuckin’ Ono
Why
Is
One
Singular
Wife
On
This
List
You know what? There shouldn’t be just one fucking wife. I don’t see what the fuck the big god damn deal is. I love Yoko, but I’m not about to kill whoever dislikes her and write them off as a fuckin’ twat. But the arguments about her are fucking ridiculous—and if you don’t like her, please find an actual fucking reason, because I seriously do not know why anyone would dislike her after how happy she made John but WHATEVER. Just fucking. Stop. Arguing. About. Yoko.
She was with John. Get the fuck over it.
Aaaand that’s it!
There you are. The biggest flaws I see in the fandom I used to be a part of. If this doesn’t apply to you, then don’t fucking bitch about it, and if it does? I’m turning anon off, so feel free to bitch at me, though I can’t promise I’ll make an attempt at being nice.
Long live the Beatles fandom!
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r-o-c-c-h-i reblogged this from joydivsion and added:
DAMMIT just pretend that falls under the “lady gaga” subject
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